Tonight I sat down and looked at Curtis' texts from the day of my surgery. His response to almost everyone said "She is out of surgery but the Dr. said it was a lot worse than he expected. He didn't get it all, it has spread." The gut sick feeling started again.
I'll be honest, ever since surgery I have been in denial. I needed to just heal. I have been trying to "enjoy" my two weeks off. The weather has been hot, the kids have been kept busy, and I have been taking it easy. As I get closer to going back to work, reality is coming back. I haven't let fear rule me these last 13 days but it's coming back in. I need to stay strong. I need to keep praying. I need to prepare for the Nuclear Medicine Scan that will tell me just how bad it is.
Next Wednesday is my first appointment with the Oncologist. He will be the one to determine which scan to do. From there they will then decide on my dose of Radioactive Iodine. They keep saying my cancer is treatable and has a high cure rate. I keep holding on to that.
Last Tuesday the Stake Presidency in Jerome came and gave me a blessing. I was so glad they called and asked if they could. I told them I would be honored. It was exactly what I needed and to be honest it's probably what has been my strength in healing these last two weeks. I was told I would get my mental and physical health back. I was so excited to hear that. I believe in the power of prayer and even more so in the power of the Priesthood. I will live through this and I will be able to help others.
I want to say thank you to everyone who has gone through cancer or has had someone go through cancer that have shared their stories with me. I love meeting cancer survivors and I have appreciated others who have shared their experiences with me. It's easy sometimes to feel alone but I'm not! So many people have been touched by it.
I have so much gratitude in my heart to family, friends, and community. I have not been alone once since my surgery. I have had a lot of people carrying me through my recovery. My mom and dad have fed me lunch many days along with driving me to appointments and other things, both of my sisters have been there to help me with kids and taken me to lunch or have come to my house and fed me. Lora has been there from day one helping me, Curtis, and driving my kids to daycare in the first week I was recovering. There have been Ward members, family members, and my boss's wife who have fed us dinner. And Bonnie bringing by different food items to have on hand. I feel so blessed for those who have gone above and beyond for my family. I feel like saying thank you isn't enough. There is so much good in people. If I haven't mentioned you, I haven't forgotten. I am so thankful for everything.
I'll be honest, ever since surgery I have been in denial. I needed to just heal. I have been trying to "enjoy" my two weeks off. The weather has been hot, the kids have been kept busy, and I have been taking it easy. As I get closer to going back to work, reality is coming back. I haven't let fear rule me these last 13 days but it's coming back in. I need to stay strong. I need to keep praying. I need to prepare for the Nuclear Medicine Scan that will tell me just how bad it is.
Next Wednesday is my first appointment with the Oncologist. He will be the one to determine which scan to do. From there they will then decide on my dose of Radioactive Iodine. They keep saying my cancer is treatable and has a high cure rate. I keep holding on to that.
Last Tuesday the Stake Presidency in Jerome came and gave me a blessing. I was so glad they called and asked if they could. I told them I would be honored. It was exactly what I needed and to be honest it's probably what has been my strength in healing these last two weeks. I was told I would get my mental and physical health back. I was so excited to hear that. I believe in the power of prayer and even more so in the power of the Priesthood. I will live through this and I will be able to help others.
I want to say thank you to everyone who has gone through cancer or has had someone go through cancer that have shared their stories with me. I love meeting cancer survivors and I have appreciated others who have shared their experiences with me. It's easy sometimes to feel alone but I'm not! So many people have been touched by it.
I have so much gratitude in my heart to family, friends, and community. I have not been alone once since my surgery. I have had a lot of people carrying me through my recovery. My mom and dad have fed me lunch many days along with driving me to appointments and other things, both of my sisters have been there to help me with kids and taken me to lunch or have come to my house and fed me. Lora has been there from day one helping me, Curtis, and driving my kids to daycare in the first week I was recovering. There have been Ward members, family members, and my boss's wife who have fed us dinner. And Bonnie bringing by different food items to have on hand. I feel so blessed for those who have gone above and beyond for my family. I feel like saying thank you isn't enough. There is so much good in people. If I haven't mentioned you, I haven't forgotten. I am so thankful for everything.
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